From Love to Hatred

Oh, this feeling tortures.
I dare not say I'm still loving that man.
He doesn't remain the same.
Why bother? Find other.
The old flame is no longer ablaze after all.

who’s gonna go along?

no we are not jumping to land on mars,
we are riding our private orion among the stars,
even the sky hasn’t darkened yet it’s still velvet.

hail Jupiter for having immortalized Orpheus’ lyre in the heavens,
that the beauty of its sounds were such Godsend.
indeed, it was a Godsend

did you see the pretty goddamn unicorn playing around?
I was just seeing her sparkling magic horn.
yes, the one that once you thought was a cosmic thorn.

I love being here ..

how much time is left?

no way!
does it really run out?

I don’t want to wake up

let me keep starsailing and be outshone..

Hey dearest,

You know what?
In my whole life, I've never been hurt as much as thrice by the same person

We used to love each other
But then ended tragically for my fault
I proposed for a second try, but I was rejected
For months up to year I was drowned in an utter sorrow

You came approach and then you dump
Damn, you think and act like an alien
Vicious and heartless

What is actually swimming in your mind?
And now you hate me while IT'S ME who should bear the hatred

You came to me when you were wretched
I kept on giving you consolation, and hoping to be a solace
For moments I thought that things were getting better
No more hatred would be born since we started caring each other, what an opportunity

And then you left (again), this time without any notification
TELL ME if I did mistake! was it a hard thing to do for you?
You broke my heart, over and over again, severely
And I wonder what makes you easily and so often break it
Do you think that mine is that strong?

I know,
I didn't deserve to be your lover
And I didn't deserve to ask for an opportunity

But it's just hurting to know that I don't deserve your affection either even only as a friend
It looks as if I could only deserve your hatred, and that's all I could only derive for my devoted affection

Was it something evil lying within me? that you sensed and feared from afar?

If the uttermost love could be born, then why such hatred couldn't..

we nearly perceived it as love
we almost believed it was love
but my mind and body fail me now
and my shining armor rusted

why you keep insisting?
I've found no happiness nor even a comfort
I can't even freely breathe and express

oh.. this is a torment
that I can't bear it any longer

please
release me..

the light goes out
heartbeats are aloud
breathe in breathe out

kisses never ends
satisfaction lands
each lover bends

traces of fingers
excitement tingles
sensation lingers

forever is tonight
precious is tonight
young is tonight

when the sunlight is striking
and the waterbirds are splashing
the troubles were spreading
and gone with the lightning

the world's heart is aching
the nature starts faking
our skin shed we're bleeding
the sorrow keeps singing

the dark night's now dawning
descent traces moaning
crashing joy's been hiding
all happiness is lurking

murmuring sighing
singing rivers flowing
drift away the leaves tumbling
the deity incarnate ascending

all the blue turns to grey
nothing more left to say
nor magical thing astray
remain stoned day by day

I was the angel your heart picked
You grew wings of my own
You helped me learn to fly
And we flew together

You took me to the highest heavens
We traveled over the universe
You bestowed me the miracles I had never felt
You showed me your beauty that melt

You built me dreams
And I saved hopes
All my life I trusted in you
We kept on flying and followed the journey of the sun

At the point I didn't realize how high I was
You broke my wings
You let me fall
You didn't catch me

I am the broken angel
You present my wings to another angel

I am the broken angel
Seeing both of you soar to the place we had ever been

I am the broken angel
Possessing the remains
Broken dreams and broken hopes

I am the broken angel

I am no more angel

hey, me!

for how long will you be dissolved in fantasies?
it would never rest you in peace
will you stop reminiscing?

of his cradling you with heavenly vows that he would wake you up every morning with a gentle kiss if he ever married you

of his desiring to have four babies with you,
two little kikis and two little taufans

of his cuddling you in his warm embrace while you were sleeping and his saying that it was the coziest moment he experienced

of his kiss that made both of you become wordless

of his yearning to embrace you almost every time, yearning to breathe in your scent, yearning to see your smile

of his telling you " I love you " for the first time and the next times or sometimes " ya tebya liubliu " that made you nearly always laugh, and " sleep tight sweet dreams " everytime you would go to bed

of his swears that he was bestowed to be loved by you, it is a trust to be your hearthrob and is a duty to look after you because he loved you and he prayed that it would last ever after

they are only reminiscences anyway..

hey, me!

will you stop daydreaming?

that both of you would eventually be reentwined

that he would be the first and the last man who kissed your lips, who traced every inch of your skin, who ever hugged you

that you would be his mrs

that you would prepare breakfast and coffee for him every morning

that you would cook for him and look after your children together with him

that you would gaze the stars while laying down on prairie with him

that he would take you to the place called 'Dreamland' and grasp your hands while fringing along the coast

that he would be the only companion until your hair turns to grey, so that he would be the only one who understands your beauty

daydreamer..

hey, me!
even when you're writing you're reminiscing!

and I said,
because memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose..

Silver rain that falling down
Across your hair and across your face
When I saw you off that day

We take a little ride and walk
Around the corner of the city block
After you saw him at that place

It's really like a miracle
To walk along with you side by side
When I take you to your house

You said this was unexpected thing
And I guess I feel the same way too
Cause it's shivering my hearts

Don't you now I can never hold back
Cause i never want to see you crying

Cause I need you upon my dreams
And I miss you of my life
If tomorrow never comes
All I want is to be with you


:: This song is written by my honey, it's about a thing that happened on a rainy day - beneath the rainy sky
(read my blog canis majoris : Today, 3 Years Ago, posted on december 31st 2006).

And I clearly remember, that day, when we were entering the bus terminal, my honey's face was hit by frying oil sprinkling! Then I wiped off the oil on his face with my bare hand. It was the first time I touched his face.. ::

Hari ini..
Seharusnya salah satu dari kita mengucapkan 'selamat'

Hari ini..
Seharusnya kita bersyukur karena telah melewati satu bulan yang lain dengan baik-baik saja

Hari ini..
Saya masih menunggu jawabanmu

Saya menangis lagi...
Ini malam keempat saya memimpikannya
Dan untuk kesekian kalinya saya memohon kembali

Namun dia tetap dingin dan tidak mau kembali

Mungkin orang-orang berpikir bahwa saya adalah wanita yang bodoh
Hati saya disakiti tapi saya tetap ingin kembali
Cinta saya tidak dapat dilogika

Saya tetap mencintai dia dengan segenap hati saya
Saya sadar bahwa saya bukan wanita yang diinginkannya
Tapi bodohnya, saya merasa ingin terus menantinya

Agar dia tahu
Saya mencintai dirinya apa adanya
Saya mencintai dia dan kesederhanaannya
Saya mencintai dia dan keterbatasannya
Saya mencintai dia dan kesabarannya
Saya mencintai dia dan pengertiannya

Saya benci karena kamu pernah mencintai saya
Saya benci karena kamu pernah menyayangi saya
Saya benci karena kamu pernah begitu berarti dalam hidup saya
Saya benci pada kenyataan bahwa kamu adalah separuh nyawa saya

Saya benci karena kamu pernah memeluk saya
Saya benci karena kamu pernah mencium bibir saya
Saya benci karena kamu pernah menyentuh saya
Saya benci karena kamu membuat saya percaya bahwa kamulah yang terakhir

Saya benci karena kamu tidak menemui saya
Saya benci karena kamu tidak menelepon saya
Saya benci karena kamu memutuskan saya saat saya mau ujian
Saya benci karena kamu punya alasan yang saya tidak paham

Saya benci karena saya ingin mendengar suaramu
Saya benci karena saya ingin menatap matamu
Saya benci karena kita jauh
Saya benci karena kita berbeda prinsip

Saya benci karena kamu membuat mata saya bengkak setiap pagi
Saya benci karena kamu bukan prince charming seperti yang saya kira
Saya benci kenapa kita berpisah padahal ibu tidak melarang kita
Saya benci kenapa kamu tidak bilang kalau kamu tidak suka pacar yang melarangmu merokok

Saya benci karena kamu adalah orang kesekian yang menghancurkan saya
Saya benci kamu karena saya ingin membencimu
Saya benci kamu karena saya ingin melupakan kamu
Saya benci kamu karena saya ingin membuang kamu dari kenangan saya

Saya benci karena saya masih menyimpan sms-sms mu setahun yang lalu
Saya benci karena saya masih menyimpan fotomu
Saya benci karena saya masih menyimpan puisi-puisimu
Saya benci karena saya masih menyimpan lagu-lagumu

Saya benci karena saya masih mencintaimu
Saya benci karena saya sangat merindukanmu
Saya benci karena saya masih menginginimu
Saya benci karena saya tidak bisa melupakanmu…

It was like the doom
I step into a gloom

Our hearts torn apart
And you wouldn’t repair my bleeding heart

We used to have love and affection
So why we carried them to a destruction

We are having different principles
I know it wasn’t that simple
But that belongs to every couple

You said, we are having different visions
What kind of visions now become my question

All friends help me to stand up
But the thought of you hold up

At night I sleep with your picture in my hug
I wish that someday there’ll be luck

The love we had was so gorgeous
I couldn’t trust that it was lost

Ash said it was alright to be alone
They don’t feel this ache soak into the bone

Fixing my life I try
But the only I can do is cry

I’m still struggling for my love
For I’ll only pretend to be tough




::kiki tsalatsita::